NOC day out and a commencement!

It has been quite sometime since the last NOC gathering. After meeting all of the at NOC, the six of us trugged to Bali Seafood village for dinner (beside Villa bali)















The restaurant menu. They have quite a number of standard items plus selections of their very own signature dish. Guaranteed to satisfy most people's preferrences.



















Sereen and Angel smiling away....















KK and jianhui after a hard day's work (yeahhhhh right.... jianhui yes, KK, definitely not =p)















The first dish that came to us is chilli kang kong! For all honestly, this is the best chilli kang kong I have ever eaten!
















This is a unique dish. The bossy recommended this prawn dish to us. stir fried prawns with pumpkin juice! Very yummy...with a unique taste..definitely a must try...but Sereen said it is the most expensive dish that we ordered. (S$20 bucks)















The prawn paste chicky is normal tasting only.















The hotplate tofu is too salty for my liking. This is probably the least nicest dish that we had ordered. And I dunno where the tofu is.















This is the best dish that we have ordered for the day! Yum Yum! It's some braised pork with yummy sauce. Very tender and sweet! I got to try this again the next time I go back again. Which I definitely will.















This picture was taken at UCC. Daniel graduated today and the five of us went to support him (actually we are there to eat the food hee hee) and this picture was taken at the spot where we gathered a year ago too at my commencement....how time flies....sigh....

What the statements really means

1. "Nothing" - This is the calm before the storm. This means 'something' and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'nothing' usually end in 'fine'.

2. "Fine" - This is a word women use to end an argument when they're right and you need to shut up!

3. "5 minutes" - If she's getting dressed, this means half an hour. It is 5 mins if you have just been given 5 more mins to watch the game before helping around the house.

4. "Go head" - This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

5. Loud sigh - This is not actually a word, but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by man. A loud sigh means she thinks you're an idiot and wonders why she's wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over 'nothing'.

6."That's okay" - This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's OK" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. "Thanks" - A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

8."Whatever" - It's a woman's way of saying "fcuk you!"

9. 'Duno"...thats when U are expected to come out with a solution to the problem.

10 'Anything' ... that's means U dun anyhow ti kum ti kum and buy anything hor...

11. Up to you/u decide - look, i already know what i want. u jolly well get it right, else u are in deep sheet

12. U try lor... u better do it the right way..

13. 'Do I look fat in this'...you better lie..

It seems that there is an auntie network after all...

A last minute decision to help deliver food today netted me an interesting find (or rather 2 interesting finds)

All this while, I knew that the block i'm distributing food to only know each other if they are staying on the same floor. Hence, i deduced that an auntie network exist on every floor. However, while talking to one of the aunties staying on the 3rd floor, she was complaining to me that she didn't receive any food for last Sunday and even went on explaining that this is due to the fact that I was away on reservist. (In actual fact, my other friends did deliver the food in my absence but because they used the wrong name list, some of the units didn't receive any food.)

I was pretty amused. I only told an auntie living on the fourth floor that I will be away for reservist. No one else knows about this. Yet, it seems news about my reservist seemed to travel around the block.

The other thing that I discovered was rather grim. The block that I distributed food to has this alarm system connected to every unit. Any person in distress within the units can press the "panic" button linked to an alarm outside and on the ground floor. Once the button is pressed, the alarm will naturally sound and the unit in distress will be displayed on the electronic board situated outside. Today, the alarm was trigged by someone staying in unit #10-518 while I was there. I knocked on the door to rule out a false alarm before calling the police. The officer that picked up the phone told me that they have already dispatched officers to the unit already. So since there is nothing much I can do, I continued distributing the food. Strangely by the time I finished my rounds, the alarm was still sounding. I went back to the tenth floor and noticed that there were still no policemen in sight.

Two possibilities here, either the police officers have come and gone and who ever was inside was just playing itchy fingers, or, the police officers have not arrived at all. And should it be a case of genuine medicial distress, the minutes could mean the difference between life and death.

And I shall leave it as that.

A different 3 weeks...

"They don't understand why we do it.
They don't understand it's about the man next to you. "

War. It is never about heroics or glory. Neither is it a game for the boys in us men.

War is messy, relentless and brutal. And very much unforgiving. You do not decide who live or die. People die when they die. No one can choose. That is war. There are no heros in wars. Only survivors.

Why do we then fight?

War is about fighting for our rights to believe. To believe what we hold true in our hearts. It is about the sacrifices we make for people we care about and love so dearly. It is about the man fighting along side with you.

Digging pictures from the past...

[Barobushna villagers performance - The performace marked the end of our 2 weeks stay at the village. In that 2 weeks, we helped with the construction of the communal hall and helped the healthcare workers go around checking on the health of the villager's new born baby]















[Sunset over country side - This was taken on the rooftop of the place we stayed during our stint in the village. The 3 story building is called "pallisathi".]















[this shot needs to be setup one okie - one of the temples that we visited in Kolkata. We had purposely waited for the gluttony pigeons to settle down eating the grains off the floor before my friends intentionally ran across it, creating this furore of feathered wings and smiling faces. ]




















[some tomb... - I remembered this place was called the hymmi someting something tomb. Anyway, i like this shot quite a bit. ]




















[Sunset over India's railway line - This was day 2 of 3 during our trip back to Kolkata from Agra. I risked my head to take a photo of the setting sun while a cargo train whizzed by. ]
















[Onion looking temple - This picture never fails to remind me of onions!]





















[sunset - Barobushna village. Just took this picture for the fun of it. And digital photos is free!]

Maserati GranTurismo Coupe

A certain fudgy creature requested for this pocket burner. Sigh. Anyhow, the new GT will sport a 4.2L , 8 cylinder, vee-configuration with 405bhp on tap. This will be mated to a flappy paddle gear box. (similar to the one found in the quattroporte). I'm guessing front/mid engine layout plus rear wheel drive. I guess we will know more come september.
























Actually, in all honesty, I think the GT looks like an evil (and not to mention hungry looking) catfish with it's mouth wide open. Mmmm, gluttony car. Now I can appreciate the reason why the blob of fudge likes this car.














Now, the above is what I call a great-looking car. The Aston Martin Rapide Concept. Longer but sleeker than the existing DB9, it whizzes 4 persons in total comfort unlike the GT which you have to literally stuff 2 persons into the cramped rear seats. And that only happens if any unfortunate soul is even willing to accept your offer of being a rear passenger.

Let's just hope the production car in 2009 will be an exact replica of the concept. Now, that is something worth slogging for! =p

Bolster

My bolster.
Soft and comfortable.
To hug. To hold.

Your smell lingers on it.
A sweet, pleasant scent.
Of love and sacrifices.

The night. A vessel of solitude.
A desolate quietness.
Suffocating me.

Clinging the bolster close.
I feel you beside me.
Embracing me.

Solitary is no more.

*hiakz hiakz II*

I think if I don't stop coughing soon, my lungs will come out for sure...I concur, seriously, dry coughing is definately worse than suffering from fever,sore throat and flu combo.

got to go...my left lung just popped out of my mouth

*hiakz hiakz*

This is the second night in a row where my cough is disrupting my sleep. After waking for the second time from my coughing performance this morning, I decided that maybe, just maybe, having a dry hacking cough is worse than having a fever, sore throat and running nose combo. At least you do not sneeze when you are asleep.

Strangely, after going back to sleep (since it was only 7 am), I had a weird dream. I dreamt that I was in an execution chamber with clear glass panels for others to view in. There were rows of seats, like those you find in a Lecture Theater. In my dream, there were only 7 people, of which 5 of them is from the band 五月天. And in the execution chamber, they have this machine, which was white in color. I was seating on a black chair attached to the machine.

This machine has an extended arm ending in a thick metallic rod from which lethal liquid can be introduced. A control unit controls the amount of fluid to be used. The executioner sets the number to 120 (I have no idea what unit of measurement that is) and he proceeded to place the thick metal rod at the back of my neck. Apparently there is a device attached to the back of my neck which you can insert the rod in. I ask the executioner if I could request for五月天 to sing 天堂 for me. (天堂 is not even sung by them! Haha…but I got to admit that it was a good crappy choice for a last song) After which, they proceeded to inject the lethal liquid into me (the control unit numbers was running from 0 to 120 at this point in time). And the sensation feels similar to receiving an injection; A slight numbing pain from the pressure of the liquid going in.

The funny thing in this dream was, I never get to hear 五月天 singing 天堂 for me. Hahaha.

My heart kept silent

*knock knock*


"Auntie, 送饭!" Slowly but steadily, she inched her way to the door where I was waiting to give her this evening dinner packed in a comparmentised plastic box with curry chicken in one corner and vegetables on the other. Rice was served with 2 pieces of golden breaded scallop.

"你今天还好吗？" , i asked.

"aiyah, 还不是一样，活到九十一岁了，不知道为什么还没死，好辛苦。。。"

I didn't know what to reply when she said that. All I did was to give a little pat on her hand and tell her not to feel doleful. I vaguely remembered that I was struggling to contain my emotions. Grown men don't cry, I was told.

Till now, I can not forget what the old granny said. Is it scary to grow old alone? No friends. No family. No one to talk to while you wait for death to take you in your old, damp and dark apartment while feeling useless as your body deteriorates. I wonder if they keep a calendar to cross away the days, one number at a time, to mark the passing of another day of suffering? Can life be reduced to a number cancelling exercise?

How many more of these people are out there, deteriorating under obscurity, forgotten by the mainstreamers? Just how many?

Goodbyes

Do you know why goodbyes are always sad?

It is not because you are unable to see the person you said goodbye to.

But.

It is because you have already make up your mind not to see the person again.

And you are sad that you have made such a decision.

Instrumentality

Who are you?

I don't know you. Or do I?

You seem hauntingly familar. Do I know you? Have we ever met?

Your look. That intensity in your eyes. The soft gentle features of your round face. The long silk hair dancing vibrantly in the wind. Have I seen you before?

The quaver of your lips as you speak, the curl of your language. Your sweet melodious song. Have I heard you speak before?

Your smile. Why are you smiling at me? Stop smiling at me. A warm radiant smile. Like the sun. Do I make you smile? Stop. Your smile hurts me. Go away.

Leave me alone.

真的好累 =（

累。。。

2007 Mercedes Benz A-Class

Introduction
If you have not read my previous review of the old A-class, do read it. Only then will you appreciate why I am beeming over this latest manifestation of the A-class from Mercedes Benz. Quality issues that I had harped about the A-class in the past no longer can be found in this new car. It is as if a faux pas on quality never occured before. Simply brilliant.
















First Impressions
I called the old car a breadbox on four wheels. Now, the new car earns the title "rabbit on skates". Design is always subjective and to me, the front of the new A-class looks like a bunny with a small, tight rear. It isn't ugly but it is isn't anything to shout about either.

Interior
Marked improvements! Absolutely fabulous. Creature comforts such as steering column audio control, auto-chromatic rear view mirror, telescopic adjustable steering wheel synergistically combines to pamper the driver. The redesigned chromed rim dials adds a touch of class. If the old A-class was a plate of $2 dollars chicken rice, the new A-class will be a plate of $10 dollars chicken rice, served at a restaurant and comes topped with caviar.

Performance
The new 1.7 liter in-line 4 engine replaces the old 1.6 litre engine. Without dwelling into the technical specifications (lazy la lazy.), push the new engine past 3000 rpm and you have rabbit-in-a-box performance. Angry buzzing bees under the bonnet comes as standard at that engine speed, sadly. Low end torque is a little lacking for city driving but still forgivable.

Handling
Like a rabbit, the new A-class switches directions rapidly. And definitely much better than the old breadbox. Corners are dealt with an air of composure and confidence, all thanks to the firmer suspension (again, too lazy to find out the suspension setup). Push the car through corners and you will definately get into mild understeer which can be corrected with a quick dab of the brakes which bites like an hungry alligator. Yet progressively so.

Even the semi automatic gearbox is brilliant. Leave it in drive, it upshifts/downshifts with minimal shift-shock. In manual, it is way, and I really mean, way better than the old retarted transmission (it's the software! written by grannies!). Manual upshifts/downshifts are instantenous. Best of all, the old "nanny behaviour" (the old transmission doesn't allow you to downshift at high engine RPM lest you let lose a bolt or two) of the past transmission is gone! Yipee!

Conclusion
I'm in love with this car. For it's creature comforts. For it's ability to win my heart over despite initial disapointment and resentment of the previous A-class. And perhaps for Mercedes Benz's success in infusing rights into a car plagued by wrongs.

Oh, I forget to mention one gripe that I do have with the car. The steering feel is feather light (which reminds me of the G9 corolla) and feedback is non existent. But i'm prepared to overlook this fault. Who wouldn't? Nobody is perfect.

Tired

Weary. Why do I have to put in so much effort just to get the same amount of pay regardless of how much effort i put in? We do so much, sacrifice so much. And at the end of the day, the fiscal bebefits goes to the Boss and not you.

So... logically....it's more beneficial to be your own boss! (of cos, with great benefits come great risks)

So...no choice loh....work and work, slog and slog loh....complain also must slog, tired also must work. If not cannot buy ferrari! (but slog n slog also no ferrari! Ferrari key chain maybe)

Sigh...drained la drained....got people doing business not... want to 收留 this poor soul here?

Extracts from the heart

Chanced across this phrase and decided to share it with everyone:

" A downtrodden and heavy heart, I carry.
Beneath the fathoms of masquerade, weary.

Turmoil festering within, help me!
Go away! Cry thee

The flesh is willing, thy heart weak.
Alas! Death is perhaps the only escapade. "

Post Peak Party (yeah rite...post peak my a**)

Hokai. We had a post peak party at MOS last friday. In typical fashion, the company booked the entire MOS from 6.30pm-10.00pm, with free flow of "selected" drinks thrown in. Strangely, the food wasn't enough, the free flow wasn't really flowing very smoothly (they ran out of glasses half way) and the drinks was, well, too alcoholic for my liking.

The good thing is, you have great friends to accompany you to ensure that you had a great time at the "post-peak" celebrations. =)

In response...

Excerpt from Yingz (in response to the previous post):

"Yeah dude! This song was ringing in our heads 3 years back in the little kitchen of PGP. Those times when we cracked our heads decoding and understanding the hidden message that "bobby" was trying to get it. Remch found our own ember "bobby the cockroach"? Then we were each puzzled by our own map of love destiny. Those times with some help from you in navigating my destination. I found my happy farm. Now the knighted meh had found his wobble wobble in the castle!! Happy for u!

End of Evangelion : Come Sweet Death

Warning: Disturbing animation (EVA always is disturbing)

Was digging through my old CD collection and found my stash of long forgotten MP3s! Found the song "Amaki shi yo Kitare/Komm Suesser Tod" from the End of Evangelion. Awww... bring back memories of my PGP era (rem dude?)

Anyhow, I do not have much recollection about Evangelion or the End of Evangelion for that matter, but i did remember that this was a very symbolic animation that draws much references to christianity and their interpretation of the coming armargaddon.

Cutting a long story short, here is the lyrics for the song "komm, Suesser Tod", which means Come, Sweet Death in German.


Artist: ARIANNE

I know, I know I've let you down
I've been a fool to myself
I thought that I could
live for no one else
But now through all the hurt & pain
It's time for me to respect
the ones you love
mean more than anything

So with sadness in my heart
(I) feel the best thing I could do
is end it all
and leave forever

what's done is done it feels so bad
what once was happy now is sad
I'll never love again
my world is ending

I wish that I could turn back time
cos now the guilt is all mine
can't live without
the trust from those you love
I know we can't forget the past
you can't forget love & pride
because of that, it's kill'in me inside

It all returns to nothing, it all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down,
tumbling down
It all returns to nothing, I just keep
letting me down, letting me down,
letting me down

In my heart of hearts
I know that I called never love again
I've lost everything
everything
everything that matters to me, matters
in this world

I wish that I could turn back time
cos now the guilt is all mine
can't live without
the trust from those you love
I know we can't forget the past
you can't forget love & pride
because of that, it's kill'in me inside

It all returns to nothing, it just keeps
tumbling down, tumbling down,
tumbling down
It all returns to nothing, I just keep
letting me down, letting me down,
letting me down
It all returns to nothing, it just keeps
tumbling down, tumbling down,
tumbling down
It all returns to nothing, I just keep
letting me down, letting me down,
letting me down

Reminiscence

Sound the bugle now - Bryan Adams

Sound the bugle now - play it just for me
As the seasons change - remember how I used to be
Now I can't go on - I can't even start
I've got nothing left - just an empty heart

I'm a soldier - wounded so I must give up the fight
There's nothing more for me - lead me away...
Or leave me lying here

Sound the bugle now - tell them I don't care
There's not a road I know - that leads to anywhere
Without a light I fear that I will - stumble in the dark
Lay right down - decide not to go on

Then from on high - somewhere in the distance
There's a voice that calls - remember who your are
If you lose yourself - your courage soon will follow

So be strong tonight - remember who you are
Ya you're a soldier now - fighting in a battle
To be free once more -Ya that's worth fighting for (more)

Goodbye...you have served me well for the past 3 years

It only seems like yesterday when I first purchased you to replace my dying Neckermann sandals. I still remember how much you cost me. S$68 dollars.

You have been with me to places both near and far. Your rock solid durability endured countless punishments while trekking through the jungle paths of Bukit Timah and Machritchie. Your impeccable reliability ensures my safety while sauntering along the dusty paths of Kolkata.

Regardless, your cocooning fit ensures sanctuary for the feet of this restless traveler. Yet, your memories are not restricted only to the physical realm. You have accompanied me throughout my trials and tribulations of the past 3 years; seen countless of situations surrounding my life unfurling; shared my every triumphs and failures; stood silently with me in my happiest and in my darkest hours. You have been a good pair of sandals to me.

I will remember you.

Pictures in the evening...

-:: Saturday :: -




































-:: Sunday ::-

Food delivery to needy people living around Telok Blangah on Sunday.

Simplistically meaningful.

It is you...

Dana Glover It Is You (Shrek soundtrack)
Uploaded by chilavert

There is always something different about the both of us.

Perhaps it's the look. Or the smile.

Whatever it is, a perfunctory glance is always enough to reveal to others the amorosity between the both of us. Try as we might, we can never seem to conceal the ingrain feelings emanating from us.

Not that it matters.

What matters most is that because of each other, solitariness had already ebbed away since the last crossing of the winter solstice.

Compare and contrast

Reports of slowing Singapore economy from Bloomberg















Similar news from the India economic times














yet another similar article from Wall street journal














Strangely, The Straits Times reported a similar article BUT carries a completely contrasting title compared to the other three articles. Interestingly enough, it was printed side by side to the article commenting on justifying ministers pay increment.

realpolitik I say.




















(disclaimer: credits goes to someone else, it's not my print capture here)

Princess mononoke MV

Hauntingly mesmerising and intimately touching music that encumbers your heart

Qing ming!

6.40am - Caltex stop over for breakfast (not mine)















7.13am - Bukit Timah















7.40am - Sunrise over CCK cemetary















8.40am - CCK columbarium

Warrou...

Crap! !@#$%^&& I have Sauropods doing break dance in my head as I type this entry....times have changed. I can't drink alcohol without having a throbbing headache.

I'm ashamed to say, i'm done in by a pint of Kilkenny and half a glass of whiskey coke. warrou! pathetic leh...

really really crap. Arghz!! 杀了我吧！

人间

今晚你在MSN突然跟我说了那一番话，起头吓到了我。 惊讶的问了你几句之后，才发现原来事情是如此。心也安定了下来。 关于你这件事情，刚好想起了这首歌， 就把它 “点波“ 给你听。take heart.




风雨过后不一定有美好的天空
不是天晴就会有彩虹
所以你一脸无辜不代表你懵懂

不是所有感情都会有始有终
孤独尽头不一定惶恐
可生命总免不了最初的一阵痛

但愿你的眼睛只看得到笑容
但愿你流下每一滴泪都让人感动
但愿你以后每一个梦不会一场空

天上人间如果真值得歌颂
也是因为有你才会变得闹哄哄
天大地大世界比你想像中朦胧
我不忍心再欺哄但愿你听得懂

但愿你会懂该何去何从

谢了！

又高又苗条的杯子。 美！

易碎的玻璃杯， 你一定是花了不少心思，小心翼翼的把它安全的从美国带回来新加坡坡吧。为了表示我衷心的感谢， 我以这篇日记， 跟你说一声 谢了。

真的谢了。 =)

Memories...what memories!

We were taught from young, that we should all study hard and get good grades, so that we can get into good schools and subsequently into university. In universitym, we can pursuit a good degree and land ourselves a good job in a huge MNC. And life will be a bed of roses.

Yeah, right.

True, getting a good degree may laud you a respectable job in an MNC. That as much is true. Period. Beds of roses have thorns too you know? No one ever tells you the naked truth.

Profit.

The word that makes this world economy churn with glee. So, what's with profit?

Simple.

Assume, if one worker needs one day to complete one job, and each job you earn $X dollars, so, the more workers you have, you earn $X * no of workers(N) per day. Great.

Now, revenue is defined as the following:

revenue per day = KXN

where K = loading factor.

This loading factor(K) is the amount of extra work you load on the worker per one day to drive up revenue while he/she receives the same amount of pay.

Now,
profit= Revenue - salary per day (Y)
profit= KXN - Y

*assume COGS = salary/day

From this linear equation, take X & N to be constant. That will mean that to increase profit, you have to either increase K or decrease Y. However, you cannot cut your employees salaries based on whims and fancies, hence you can only logically increase K.

Now, as you increase K, for large MNCs, it's 101% certain that some MNCs don't care a hoot about whether you go hungry due to working longer hours, sacrificing sleep, friends and social life. Nope. In fact, they make it seem like it's the culture to work longer hours and soon enough, it IS the culture. When that happens, your K will increase naturally and everyone, thinking it is the norm, will not look for an increase in Y.

Bottomline? Employees are brainwashed into working drones while the employer laughs his/her way to the bank with a fat load of profit.

Now tell me. After going through countless exams in your youth to get to your dream job. What have you really obtained in benefit after all that hard work? more hard work?

Do think about it. What have you sacrificed, lost or regret not doing in your life while you are slogging away for your employer's profit?

Remember, we all have an equal time on this earth.

I'll leave this open.

See la! Say la say! really kenna this time!

warrou! i don't care this is not a chinese posting cos I wanna comprain!! Never drive car until so 辛苦 before one...argghz!!!

Gradient = 0.2 average.... if only count the last 2 hours, it's 1.2! considering the scale limiting factor, it means die la!!!

where got like that one?? upshift and upshift...later over increase RPM and explode how??!?!?

But heng, got sweet and nice 菊花 on apex.

狗真的是男人的好搭档！

可爱的小狗可以吸引到美女！带它到东海岸公园，果然是一个好的搭档。。。 ：）

其实已经好久没有散步了。。。今天可以在阳光普照的下午吹着海风，陪着小狗一起散一散心，真的开心。狗虽然不会和你有语言上的勾通，但你只是要看着它那无忧无愁的在草地上兴奋的跑着，心情自然的会开心起来。

要开心，也有简单的方法。















跑累了，就休息一会儿。。。

路途。。。

大 苍 凡 无 欲 未 小 光
地 鹰 事 奈 将 满 犊 阴
辽 终 过 忧 革 世 渐 转
阔 翱 慎 感 新 事 晓 眼
唯 翔 且 心 废 欠 处 度
其 青 忌 底 俗 公 事 七
观 天 惮 怯 套 允 道 载

Break from regular transmission (chinese medium)

I know what you want. But I cannot give you what you want. Because I am not you. You network the complains, you can be unhappy, you can even get angry at me for what it is worth. But I am not you. You still will not get what you seek.

I have my own ideas, my own unique perspective on things. You said there is no clear line in the things we do. I agree. Then agree to disagree like I did.

I maintain the semblance of peace because cooperation in any form is better than wrangling at each other's neck. I agree for peace's sake. Honestly, I'm losing my patience because this takes 2 hands to clap and you are oblivious to what is happening.

I'm tired. I wish i didn't know what is going on. But I do.

"I know I'm not one of your favourites but I could use some help here"
~ John Constantine

由衷之言

六年了。。。认识你已经有六年了。。。 说短不短， 说长也不长。这六年来，你所付出的， 你所牺牲的，我都看到了。感动。非常的很。只是藏在心里,没把真心讲出口罢了。。。

你知道吗。。。你对我的信心， 都比我给自己的信心来的高。关于我的能力，你给的信心，都比我自己， 都比所有的人给的高。遗憾的是，我只怕自己力不从心，辜负了你所相信的一切。 但是，我给你的诺言就此；

你一天没把这颗心给放下，我就一天不会放下你对我的信心。

这六年来， 你所教过我的，是好是坏，我尝试过了。。。虽然失去了我六年前天真无知的那个我， 我总觉得，所得回的，超越了我所失去的。这样不好吗？

不可思议的是， 在这人海茫茫当中， 你和我的生路就这样，莫名其妙有了相交。开心，真的开心。。。我真的真的希望到时候，你的选择是对的。 希望你不是把鸡看成老鹰， 因为鸡是永远飞不高的。。。我的心，凤或许是没有，但老鹰肯定有.

长途的路程之中，就算全世界的人不相信我， 我知道只要有你这个哥相信我，就可以了。。。

炸鱼片不新鲜的。。。

“auntie...可以给我一碗鱼片米粉吗？" 我对着auntie 说。。。

“你要哪一种鱼？ 新鲜 的鱼 好吗?" 她说着。。。

我给了一个很奇怪的表情，说了， “auntie, 你有卖不新鲜的鱼 吗？“

她 接着,指了摊子上的招牌说, “炸鱼片 lor….“

啊。。。 原来炸鱼片的鱼不是新鲜的。。。

就是这样子吧。。。

一个不是人说我写的华文字母有错别字。。。 啊。。。 低促有错别字。。。 那么，我就此从现在开始，用华文写出我的blog entries, 之到我可以写成一段无有错别字的写作。

第一次

累了。。。 真的累了。。。

这几个月来见过的， 尝试过的，我累了。。。

原来生活上最复杂，最难搞得就是人以人之间的关系。

我看累了。。。很想不去管，很想把心上所想的，看的，感觉的，都把它仍一边。。。

可惜，我办不到，也不能不管。

阵面的也好，反面的也好，是假是真，看透了，真的真的疲倦。。。

简简单单的过一生， 很难吗？

Revelation

Look to the North on the 7th day at dusk.

Look for the white rose.

The Harbinger of the end of ends.

Loss is never lost.

It was a simple task. To help take photos of her. In her buddist robe.

So I obligingly did. In fact, I took a couple of shots. I have always loved photography. The challenge of taking a good photo is to convey your intented emotions to the person viewing your photographs. So I did my best, played around with the lighting until I get the shots I wanted.

Satisfied, I showed her the picture. She looked pleased. While packing my camera, she said to me, "Use this photo you have taken for my funeral." My heart froze. But I managed to utter a casual "orh." And I have never mentioned the whole event to anyone since.

And so.... 1.5 years down, that was how my first public work induced emotions. The big photo frame. The urn. My close relatives' wallets. They carry with them my work of that day. It is a beautiful photo, they still say.

But it is beautiful not because of my technical skills, but, of the bonding and love between us. Love made the portrait beautiful.

I have never dared looked at the photo ever since. It was conveniently forgotten, buried in time. And I know why.

Loss is never lost.

V-day / Friendship-day/chop-carrot-day is here....

Ok...to all you lovey-dovey birds out there (notice the tinge of envy?), here's a nice lomentic song for ya all....




相爱

同恩 范逸臣

词曲:黄舒骏

(男)他们告诉我爱是个恶魔
要你一颗心还你一场空
我们的爱与众不同
推翻他们的胡说
爱上之前我懵懵懂懂
现在我明白我生的理由
原来我已睡了很久
是用爱叫醒我

(女)你要我什么你爱我怎么
只让你拥有我的完美
我的娇柔我的悸动
你要我什么你爱我怎么
只要说出口我的深情
我的不悔我的执著
都是你的

(男)做什都对说什都感动
天地都有情连山水都温柔
爱对了什都不愁
别人为何都不懂
牵着你的手我什都不求
抱你在怀中一生就已足够
不管是天堂是宇宙
就是我爱的时候

(女)你要我什么你爱我怎么
只让你拥有我的完美(完美)
我的娇柔(娇柔)我的悸动(悸动)
你要我什么(有的全部都要给我)
你爱我怎么(我爱的每一个动作)
只要说出口(我已经无法说的尽)
我的深情
我的不悔(不悔)
我的执著(执著)
都是你的(都是的)

(合)你要我什么你爱我怎么
只让你拥有
我的完美(的完美)
我的娇柔(的娇柔)
我的悸动(悸动)
你要我什么(你有的全部都要给我)
你爱我怎么(我爱的每一个动作)
只要说出口(我已经无法说的尽)
我的深情
我的不悔(不悔)
我的执著(执著)
都是你的(都是的)
都是你的(都是的)

Simple words yet....

...so uplifting! Really. sz, you will never know how encouraging your words meant to me over msn that evening.

Now you know...it's enough for me to delicate this posting to you...though one day late(busy mah!)

=p

Struggle

"One....more....time....."

He feebly attempted to drag his own near-lifeless body across the scorching sand as the sun's heat shone relentlessly on him from high above the cloudless sky. His nerves burst forth signals of pain as his parched skin scraped across the coarse sand.

Raw skin and rough sand does not mix, it seems. Every single movement draw forth fresh abrasions from the tender flesh, staining the sand with his blood. Feeling frustrated, he knew this is the end for him. With all the strength he could muster, he delicately turn his head towards the sun.

Two vultures circled lazily high above him. Like an ominous sign of impending doom, the two messengers of death waits patiently for it's prey to come to pass. As if sensing death, they grew more excited, squawking excitely to each other with each passing moment.

Eyes squinting, he whispered a hoarse "Why....me?" into the air, as the shimmering desert heat carries his voice away to nothingness. No one can hear his pain, his disappointment and ultimately, his sadness. Sadness of all the unfulfilled dreams left unaccomplished. Sadness of all the things left unsaid and never will be said. Sadness of never being able to say "I'm sorry" to the one he hurt but hold so dear in his dying heart.....

Turmoil!

The past kept haunting me! I feel it in my dreams, I dwell in it every single minute that I am awake. Every SINGLE minute. GAH! Sometimes I wish I can just switch off that part of the brain. And work of late have been very helpful to work synergistically(don't even know if there is such a word) against me.

On the topic of work, it has been an equally trying period. I kept making errors I felt I should not even have made, in fact, I shouldn't even be making mistakes. Sigh. Where to find that elusive characteristic that I seem to be missing?

This picture taken at 1am on 01/02/07 is proof that work will haunt you if you don't get it right the first time...(actually not really but i'm just trying to make myself feel worse) *sigh*













On a happier but stressful note, tomorrow I will be going for this:















better hope nothing goes wrong tomorrow.

Sweet Dessert

Carrot Pudding. Sourish Sweet. Yum. Thanks Lor!

A sweet looking couple in their late-twenties ran this dessert store @ market street. I'm sure that is the reason why the place felt welcoming to me. A couple in love (i'm guessing) selling sweet healthy desserts and wanting to share their little world with you. Now how welcoming is that? very much so I say!

Besides, there is definitely something sweet and romantic (swoon~) about the idea of selling desserts together with the one you loved, tucked away at a corner of the busy city street.

My take? It's a little oasis in the unforgiving desert of a city. Definitely a good place to enjoy a nice relaxing bowl of dessert and just relax. =)

Lingering uneasiness

I can't sleep. The image of the battered bicycle lying on the road remains fresh in my mind.

Hundred metres down, I saw another battered machinary. This time, it is in the form of a car. The car felt lifeless to me, with it's crumpled bonnet and boot and only one signal light blinking sporetically as it lies broken along the road divider.

No blood. No blue tents. No ambulance. Nothing. Nothing at all to signify injury or death have transpired. It was just car and bicycle, lying broken and lifeless at the side of the road.

A disquieting chill hits me. I didn't like what I saw. I felt uneasy.

So much so that I did the usual of stopping insteading of accompanying the ascent. Sorry.

I can't help but think a life was lost. I hope I'm wrong.

ITGC 3 Golden Rules

1. LHS = RHS

The LHS (Description of test performed) must be equal to the RHS(TOD/TOE documentation).

2. CYA

Always Cover your Ass (CYA) when performing the TOD/TOE. Always conform to TOE sampling size. Ask yourself this question, "Am I fulfilling the control objectives?"

3. Treat Reviewers as Idiots

Always document EVERYTHING and do not assume that the person reviewing your work know everything. Chances are, he/she knows nothing. So document as comprehensively as possible.

Too logical a mind is not logical, me thinks.

Sigh. I can't stop thinking. I'm afraid. Logically, I shouldn't be, What-ifs scenarios doesn't warrant time for worrying.

Yet, the past seemed to haunt me. This time, the roles are reversed. Maybe that was how they felt in the past. Insecurity might be one of them to say the least. Maybe, this time, it will be my turn on the receiving end, finally. Time to payback what I took. Sigh.

D +24, offset +0. Too premature for phase change. But params are fluctuating. Puzzling.

Too logical a mind is not logical, me thinks.

STOP.

Do I need a title?

!@#$%.....shitty day i say....so much crap happened today that i can't be bothered phrasing nicely. How often in one day can you feel worried, hurt (a minor bit), miserable, stressful, frustrated, irritated, tired, stupid, dejected in one stupid freaking day consisting of only 24hours?!?

I hated the way things are going, i hate the way things are being managed and I hate the way when it all seems to be my fault!

I did want i can at that point in time, rectified as much as I can and all I get is a bunch of negativity. I might as well don't do. I don't see the point in completing jobs when there isn't benefits then. no satisfaction no nothing. just a shitload of negativity.

Can't even be bothered to explain certain things. Don't think there is a need to. no one can do anything any way.

There ain't going to be a better day.

Munch. zzzZzzzz

Munch munch. nice mushroomies.....nice fish.....nice chicken......wake up the nieghbourhood....dreamt of eating crabs, mushrooms and more crabs....nice stars....

sadly cold, brrrr, climb mountain of ice....colder....brrrrr.....zzzzzzz

Conscious!

I want to jump into the Singapore River!! Conscious! Conscious! Conscious! All i can think of was Conscious! Walk a step. Conscious! Walk another step. Conscious! Conscious! Conscious!

I want to jump into Singapore River!!!

There is always a time for everything, including love.

Love! It's in the air! It was announced to me in the form of an innocent looking creme coloured envelope when I woke up this morning. The joyous intent of the mail bursted forth the moment I peeled away the flap revealing the red invitation card.

*Grins*

What can I say? The word "Happy" do no justice to what I am feeling. Though I have not seen you and your spouse (using the term prematurely here from a chinese context) for like 4 years, I still remember the time I met up with the both of you quite vivdly. It seemed like yesterday. I can still remember the place we ate (MOS burger), the smell of the fries and the taste of the milk tea. But what I remembered most intensely was the both of you. Or rather, it was the fuzzy feeling of warmth flowing out from both of you.

Love was in the air back then and still is in the air now. And receiving this mail is attestation to that love. And the commitment of it.

Old friend, I'm so, so, so happy for the both of you. Truely.

The road is long...

When Frodo and Sam first set out on their quest to destroy the one ring, none of them knew what will be awaiting them. Even if they had known what lies ahead of their long and trecherous journey, I do not think they will shun from it. Because they had a noble cause; To destroy the one ring that threatens the peace on Middle earth.

My journey in life, metaphorically speaking, is far from noble. There is no ring for me to destroy. No world for me to save from the evil monster. Sadly, my life at this current phase is just to help others earn their profit, maintain their shiny BMW and keep them fat and happy.

Heh...perhaps life in reality is unfair. In the movie, sauron had to rely on his minons to be his hands and legs. Perhaps, because he was not material ,that even out the chance for Frodo to destroy the one ring. Ask Sauron to drive a BMW around frodo as he crawls towards Mordor and I'm sure he will be so demoralised that he would just throw the ring back at Sauron. Middle earth withstanding or not.

I can't pinpoint this tireness in me. I mean, I haven't been working as hard as others, i've been truthful to my policy of "not bringing work home","don't work over the weekends" and "to hell with impossible deadlines" yet I still feel drawn. Why? Why? Why? Is it the environment? Is it the people? Or is it the very nature of the work?

I think i already know the answer. Just that i'm merely refusing to acknowledge it.

Days leading to 2007 in summary

22/12/06 :Yum yum Steamy boat...guess who was the LAST person still eating? heh heh gluttony...
















26/12/06 :Toyota Estima, 3L... might be V6 bah...could there be a 3L in-line 4/6 for toyota? mmm dual sunroof, HID light and an automatic sliding door. Powerful, quiet and ultimately, boring. It's a toyota lah....
















27/12/06: Ascott's Somerset Serviced apartments in KL.... home away from home for 3 days...
















27/12/06: Dan-dan mian....yummy! it's better than the one I had at Crystal Jade...



















30/12/06 : Celebrating AHP bday at Crystal Jade, Takashimaya
















01/01/07 : Drunk over the new year at Tanjong Rhu
















03/01/07 : Back to work @ client's place....paper galore man....

First post for 2007

Rain. The soft splattering of these tears from heaven on the earth magically produces a soothing, flowing river of music which calms all souls living on it. And when the rain finally stops, the invigorating smell of rain dew will spill across the earth, symbolising the start of a new and fresh beginning.

Perhaps... Perhaps that is why it always rains in December, to cleanse away the old and worn 2006 and to prepare for the arrival of the spanking new 2007.

Goodbye 2006. Hello 2007.

First time in my life...

Was travelling along CTE towards AMK just out of the tunnel behind Orchard road at ard 12am when I saw a motorcyclist lying on the road...instinctively, i pulled over and tottered over to help. I tell you, i've never seen so much blood (except in movies maybe) in my life. Blood was like on the road and on the concrete perch he was sitting on. It looks really red...sigh...

After stoning for a while, i called for an ambulance for the poor old uncle who was sitting at the side. While I ran back to the car to get water ,the other person who was helping the poor uncle decided his work is done and scootered off...leaving me alone with the uncle!

Luckily, he was concious and able to speak, just that he had serious open wounds on his leg... all i can do (and dare to do) was to help clean off the blood around the wounds.

Luckily for me, the ambulance arrived shortly so i just took the opportunity to sit beside the concrete perch considering that not alot of people can have the chance to sit along the CTE and admire at the passing cars. I wondered about all those drivers that was passing along, how many of them would come to the conclusion that I was probably the one who knock down the uncle. Sigh. i hate being wronged... but nevermind...

Once the old uncle was safely in the ambulance, i pulled off from the accident spot on my merry way and running slightly late (oops...sorry pud!).

It turns out that a lorry had hit him and ran away...sigh... i guess once you are frightened, you will have a tendancy to run bah...luckily, the uncle is fine, just that he needs to be kept under observation over the new year...

What a way to end 2006.

KL

Will be away in KL from today till thursday. During this time, you cannot contact me via phone (all thanks to the fact that I forgot to activate autoroam) but I shall try to check my email (not office mail definately) at least once to see if there are any urgent emails (like maybe the sky is falling or something).

Might need to bring more phonebooks to KL, i don't think my Singapore S$1 dollar stamp will work over there...need malaysian stamps maybe...

Botak Jones @ Christmas Eve... I tell you...the fries...it's 不必花生 one....i swear off fries for the rest of the year! Fish and Chip is good, lamb chop is good(esp the mint jelly, it numbs your tongue), the chicken is tough according to pudding (but i think her mouth "tougher" aka meanie) and my two tower burger isn't exactly facinating .

Ok ok...got to sleep....

Trust. Don't betray it. Please.

Merry Christmas...ZZzzzzzz

No...this wasn't a christmas eve dinner...this was way before that....like Friday night...heh...nice. simple. cheap. Good company.

I realise...so many outings happened over the last few days that I forget where I went, what I did or what I do...

All i remember was taking an exam paper....brood over it and panic over it...cos I dun get the fundamental reasoning behind them(it took a while) and wonders if the exam can fail one or notz...then i realise first question i was racking my brains over it, frowning over the second question, mathematically crappy by the 3rd question and pretty much brain dead by the fourth. hahaha...moral of the story, never take exams at 4.30am.

In other story,I found this paragraph lying somewhere in my brain:

Every relationship starts in a frenzy, in essence. They follow a parabolic (assuming nothing is done to sustain the relationship), Y=BX-AX^2 , where X is from 0 to + inf. Y is defined as intensity, X as time and A (intensity),B(time) are variables. However, If sustaining the relationship (commitment etc) is on both person’s agenda, then the variables A, B will increase and the parabolic takes on a far gradual decline and finally tapers off. Naturally, in the course of the relationship, the variables A, B can vary, changing the health of the relationship. But they are all still parabolic. This means that as long as one/both are not committed enough (small A,B), the curve will eventually be 0 in a short time, marking the end of a relationship. But as long as both are committed, i.e; the variables A,B will be large, when Y=0, X=0 and X = V, where V increases with increasing A,B, prolonging the relationship period matching the couple’s life time and beyond.