Thursday, August 27, 2009

Reminiscing the past?

Have you ever read back on the things you wrote in the past?

I did. And it is a mixed bag of emotions. Some were funny. Some were good old memories. And a handful were downright weird.

"Did i write that? Did I ever......write that?" I apparently did.

The funny bone in me seemed to be broken after 2007. There were less and less blog entries that were funny...until there are no/infrequent blogpost at all to date. Why?

The good old memories were...good. In the year dated 2006 and beyond, the blog entries were brimming with youthful energy, full of fun and laughter. A handful were emotional, but in a good sort of way (Princess, you gotta see some of the postings i've written). As for the handful of weird ones, well, let's leave it as that shall we?

Looking back, I kind of miss the spontaneity and energy I had in the past in writing the blog entries. My last few entries were lethargic, to say the least. It was as if there was this shackle wrapped around my heart, weighing me down, draining me of energy to write like i used to.

I am concerned because this meant that my avenue to articulate my feelings are not being used and all those feelings are internalised. Not a very good thing in terms of mental health. The next question to ask is then, why am I interalising more than I used to?

Dunno.

But, that is also fine.

Anyway back to the main topic, I think reading back on the past is a good thing. Perhaps that is why some people like to keep diaries, so that they can have a record of what happened so many years ago. ha.


Friday, August 14, 2009

Angry.

Angry. The whole world shuts its door on you when you so desire help. There is no one around to help me. I can't be my own psychologist.

Logically, this may not be true, but at this point in time, it is true to me because I believe this is so.