6 years on...

The late Ong Teng Chong passed away on 8th February 2002 and 6 years have passed since then. He has always been someone that I look up to, a role-model of sorts, even though I do not know him personally;but by piecing together the articles written about him, I think I might.

I wrote an article on him back in 2006 (Perhaps it was cut & paste from somewhere cos the article really was quite well written, IMHO. link : http://chroniclesbinks.blogspot.com/2006/05/great-man-to-remember.html ) but that was a long time ago. 6 years to be exact.

6 years on, things have changed. The world have moved on. The environment changed. The people changed. So has the motive.

Yet, this man, unknowingly and very strangely remain etched in my memory, occasionally resurfacing when I delve into the narcosis of things related to Singapore. Despite the fact that I have changed over the course of the years.

I am no longer that vocal, no longer that critical and very much mellowed in my expressions. And in the way I express them. Thoughts that once flowed no longer have the luxury of freedom but exists freely only within the confides of my inner self.

The change is not a resignation to fate, but the realisation of a greater truth, the lesser of two evils, that prompted a change of strategy. In layman terms; to adapt and suit the situation.

The passing of Ong Teng Chong represents the end of an era. And the beginning of another. I remember him not for his legacy, but him as a person. To the me of 6 years ago, he was the epitome of everything fair, impartial yet kind; a people's President. You may not agree but at least a common point can be established when I say that his heart is for his people: the people who had elected him President back in 1993.

Ad honorem.

"Love is a choice, not merely a feeling. It is a journey, not merely a collection of promises made in the heat of passion. Indeed, to experience true love, one must learn to let go of that which is fleeting and transient, and embrace the higher infinite."

Sometimes I wish I can be in the arms of an angel....

A week-point-five in summary

Amazing Race Asia 2 Press event at Forbidden City. Drank ONLY coke. Met Joanna there. Small world.

Behind the scene on the photoshoot for Oneshift.com. 40 mins rush work under the hot setting sun.

The UFO has landed on Istana! Food by Maritus Hotel? So-so.

My poor steakii stayed up with me throughout the night to complete an important presentation (yeah right!) . She was so tired that by 4.30am, she plonked right on the keyboard and zzzz.

Behind the scene in the upcoming compario article "S-MAX vs Previa". We concluded that, well, we liked one more than the other. Just which one? Wait for the article!

A Flower Story

In a garden where various types of flowers bloom, there grew this peculiar little flower. A flower unlike other flowers that grows in the garden. A little flower that will never be seen by others as how flowers ought to be - pretty.

No higher than 5 centimeters, this little 6 petal flower has a different color to each of it's petals. Blue, red, green, yellow, orange and black petal make up this peculiar little flower.

So, amongst the pretty pink, bright yellow and cheerful orange, this little peculiar flower do stand out. In a bad kind of way.

Because it grew in a prejudiced environment, the other flowers feel justified to label this "abomination of a flower" as an ugly looking misfit, like how a dodo bird will never be acknowledged by other flying birds as being part of them, if you get what I meant. And visitors to the garden seem to reinforce that fact. No one admired the peculiar little flower. Not a single soul. In fact, most of them will either walk past the little peculiar flower, or throw a cursory glance at it before turning away with a look of disgust on their face.

But the little peculiar flower never stop believing. And it held on to that belief, no matter how tough the going is - other flowers get extra doses of delicious fertilizers to keep their color fresh. Some get extra douses of water to keep their leaves looking green and healthy. Yet the little peculiar flower only gets water from the morning dew and the occasional treats from passing birds. Life sure is tough for this little peculiar flower.

But it never stopped believing.

It never stop believing that it is the most beautiful flower in the garden. It never stop believing that it is a special flower - Because it is the only flower with 6 different colors for it's petals. It must be special.

Such is the spirit of this 6 petal flower. But how long can 'believe' last? Just how long?

In an environment that constantly erodes that believe - like how waves continuously pound on the rock to break it apart - it is only a matter of time before all that believe breaks away too.

You can never stop the pounding tide. Never.

And so, as the days went by, the little peculiar flower, devoid of proper nutrients, food and support, began to falter, wither and fade into obscurity.

Never to be seen. Never to be missed.

Time has stopped for this poor little peculiar flower that suffered much. But the world still go on...never to notice that another suffering soul has come to pass.

Just kill me

I think it's time for the beer. I still can't !@#$%&*^$#@! sleep and I have a meeting in the morning!

I think it is a sign that I need a break away from everything.

A BIG break.

i better not have insomnia

It's been the 3rd day in a row that I can't seem to fall asleep. Each time I close my eyes, my brain starts to be in prime time mode, screening thoughts and happenings that occur throughout the day. It just won't bloody switch off.

And because of that, I've been listening to all the mental droning for the past 2 hours already. I'm already feeling sleepy on my chair as I type this but I know, I just know, that once I get back to my bed, my brain will probably screen the next episode of "What's the next thing I should do" series.

I just want to sleep.

Sigh.

Let me try streaming some piano music off WMP and see if it lulls me to sleep. If all else fails, there is always the bottle of Port that I had just obtained last night.

Picture of the Week 2 - City by night

Me la mie

What Lambie Means

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you. You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries. You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are very hyper. You never slow down, even when it's killing you. You're the type of person who can be a workaholic during the day... and still have the energy to party all night. Your energy is definitely a magnet for those around you. People are addicted to your vibe. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Picture of the week 1 - Chicken Rice!

A lamb, pudding and a baby cow on haystack

Right now, I have a blob of a preeeeetie puddy and my cute lil steakii bouncing around my haystack. Being the gluttons that we are, we just came back from a feast at the Old Airport Road hawker center.

Your's truly ordered a yummy bowl of fried fish Ee-fu noodles which has wonderful soupie, freshly fried fish and nice eggy to go with the noodle. unfortunately, the noodle was not cooked enough which made the noodle hard to chew on.

The puddy ordered prawn noodle was had, quite literally, prawn and noodles only. With a mountainous load of fried shallots. Puddy thinks that the prawn noodle is only so-so and the prawns are not really that fresh.

The last dish that we ordered was the Lao fu zi friend kway teow which took me 15 mins to queue before I can get my plate. Well, the kway teow was OK and the puddy hiamed that the kway teow was too sweet due to the sweet sauce and me thinks it's a tad too salty for my liking. The cockles are a tad undercooked though.

Hokai, time to tuck our lil steakii to bed now so we shall stop just about.....here.

SportCombi 9-3

I love this car for its' looks. This is by far the most stunning estate available on the market. But there is something I cannot figure out about this car. Where exactly does it's strength, or if you like, it's charm, lies?

And I'm hurtz. This unintentional pie hurtz.

Determination. Sweat. And a stupid pair of Brooks

I started my exercise regime today. And the plan was to start running after a long period of inactivity and gluttony. So, despite the rain in the evening, despite the lethargic me, I put on my pair of Brooks running shoes, courtesy of the RSAF, and trudged into the glowing darkness of the night.

The weather was great. Cooling but not cold. And the night serene, but not eerie. For a start, I gingerly did a slow jog to test my body responses to months of inactivity. And within 10 minutes, I was giving my legs the full steam ahead, at least until the pain in my knees hit me. Again.

But with my usual stubborn determination, i ignored the protesting of my knee as I slowly pounded my way up the winding road to the summit of Mount Faber. It was terrible. I never felt so much resistance from my body before. It was as if my legs were tied with tons of lead. I struggled just to take the next step and that was when I pondered on the significance of going through all these torture.

Yet I pounded on. So did the pain in my knee.

Fifteen minutes into my jog, I finally, finally reached the top of the summit. As I bowed over to catch my breath, I felt good. I felt as if I could conquer the world and that I did in fact conquered the world (or the summit).

All the pain. All the sweat. It all seemed worthwhile.

On my way down Mount Faber after cooling down, I had also decided that the Brooks from RSAF is crap. In the wet, my Brooks has zero levels of grip which caused me to lose traction and slip forward a couple of times. And just when I thought it was safe, the shoes lost traction and i found myself barreling off the footpath onto the slopes of the hill.

Luckily, I managed to grab the footpath with my hands so that I still enjoy the experience of walking down to the bottom of the hill rather than tumbling down along the slopes to reach the bottom.

What a stupid pair of Brooks.

The Volvo S80

I never really liked Volvo cars in the past. I grew up with the notion that they are designed by artists who only understands straight lines and 90 degrees. A car void of soul and passion. Which perhaps explains the reason why Volvos are common as hearse cars.

Thankfully, the heads at Volvo had passion, soul and elegance knocked into their skulls. With that, Volvo started producing the S40. A cramped little sedan indeed, but one with soul molded into the design for once. The S40 is a handsome and charming gentleman. One different from the nerdy blockhead of a bookworm it once was.

Yet, the S40 is not what I want to talk about today. What I want to do, is to wax lyrical on the S80. If a well mannered teenager is to the S40, the S80 would be the charming, handsome gentleman in a tuxedo. I absolutely adore the S80. And no, I am not in my 40s, neither am I in my 30s.

In fact, Volvo has managed to win my heart, my 20-some-ish heart with a car that is meant for executives in their late 40s, complete with a bald patch and a beer belly. Do not for once question my taste for cars, for I am still very much in love with cars that has "speed" pasted all over; such as Volkswagen's GTi and Mitubishi's Evolution X. Yet, Volvo has managed to place the S80 into my arms. Amazing.

The 2.5T S80 retails at $138,000. It is a huge sum of money but when you compare it to a Mercedes E class which cost at least 70 grand more, the S80 starts to look like a total bargain.

I would love to own one. And now.

Of marriages, logic and emotions

We were discussing the intricacies of marriage. And like all things in life, there is no clear cut answer on whether marrying or not marrying a person is a better option. It is more of, maybe, perhaps, also can, depending on your priorities in life.

Well, i classify the decision to marry based on the following:

Emotionally : Yes, do get married, if you can find the "best fitting partner" in your life.

Logically: No, especially if you are a guy. The friggin women's charter u idiot! If you are a girl, what scientific proof is there to show that the current person is the best one out there for you?

So it depends, really, on whether you are emotional or logical on the day your other half decides to pop you the question. I won't say it's a 50-50 chance as emotions do not go by sound scientific principles. But if your current special one ever decide to pop you this question, think clearly(i'll come to this later), on whether you are more emotional or more logical. If you can't really decide, then you are logical as you must have done some thinking to reach that state of dilemma. So back off!

However, if you go all emotional and start to tear with happiness(i.e. cannot think clearly), I say, you are screwed if both of you are dead incompatible. So might as well enjoy being screwed - while it lasts.
So there!

This is not a post about cars (WRX vs old WRX)

By now, most of you already know what I have been doing, but if you don't, it doesn't matter. And like the picture, the trees and the grass that was captured along side the cars doesn't really matter. The focus is on the cars. No?

Actually it does matter. The grass and the trees. It matters to the overall composition of the picture. And like the picture, life is exactly like that. You can't have one without another. With out the tress and grass, the photo will look as dull as gray.

And life is colorful and all exciting, sometimes in the wrong way too. For me, life now is all about sacrifices and pain. And these are the "trees and grass" that decorates my life now. I've lost track of the countless times I have to ask myself if what I'm doing is worth it, or the tiredness I felt when I have to fight Jekyll.

I'm quite battered a soul, especially when I had just emerged from another bout of war. I do not know how much more of these battle that I can withstand before my sanity caves in.

But I have to believe in Hyde.

(for those of you who are curious; Yes, the old WRX is faster than the new WRX but the interior is so much better in the new one that you would think the old WRX had their interior manufactured by mountain trolls. The new WRX is more refined, like cappuccino while the old WRX is like kopi-o, totally in your face, with a brutal edge to it - IMHO, give me a GTi anytime)

Dreams

What do you dream?
I dream of Fear. Anxiety. Frustration. Unfairness.

Why do you dream?
Because of where I stand. Because I do not know.

What do you not know?
Myself. I need to know myself. And myself stems from others.

Stems from others?
Yes. I am who I am. Only because of others. Without others, I am not who I am. I need to know from others. This is me. Do you know?

Others do not know. The pain. The sacrifices. The doubts. The worries. The struggle....struggle is never a stranger to me.

And what exactly are you struggling from?
From dreaming.

I'm pissed

OK, I know this is a little bit off considering the timing, but, perhaps because I am currently sick, which makes me all the more irritated when I re-looked at this 2 video clips





Now, noticed the similarities? I am pissed because this is a down right copying of ideas from the second video! And it has to be on one of our national song some more. It shows that we have no bloody sense of originality and creativity (why wear white and black like the australians?!?!?!? don't we ought to wear white and red????).

And to make it worse, want to imitate also must imitate to the level of grandness right? They have the entire army of Australian National boys and girls choir to film the entire advert spanning so many other countries and all we have are a handful of kids going around the CBD...

I'm outright pissed because they ought to come out with sometime more original for our national song! They (the producers) ought to have more national pride than that!

For those who do not know, the first ad. by Qantas was done back in 1998 while the Home video was done for the 2004 national day parade.

Island of life

I doubt many of you have ever heard of this song, Island of Life, sung by Jon Anderson and composed by Kitaro. I used to like this song because of the tune, the soothing feeling it gave me. But I had never really paid heed to the lyrics back then.

Now, after finding this song on YouTube and hearing it all over again, I realise that this song can be dedicated to a couple that I know. Perfect timing too!

Enjoy!

Island of Life

She sees me
She understands
She helps
With all of my fears
When we stand together for life
Who will hold a child
In her arms

She reaches out
So many friends
Who seek to live this world
When we stand together for life
She will hold a child
In her arms

Chorus:
Without woman
Earth would fade and die
Without woman
Who am I
Who am I
On this Island of Faith
Who am I
On this Island of Life
You are the Sea
You are the Sky
You are the Ocean
I am the Earth
I am the Island of your Love

She listens
Se understands
For those searching for truth
We will stand together for life
We will hold a child
In our arms

Chorus

She sees me
She understands
She helps
With all of my fears
When we stand together for life
She will hold a child
In her arms

Chorus

Dreams are the understanding of life
Dreams are the understanding of love

It's been a while...

I have this entry as "draft" for over a week already. I have so many things that I want to blog about. About happiness, sadness and everything in between.

Yet, every time when I want to begin to write, my thoughts just left me.

Sigh.

A nice dream that faded...

As I awaken gradually from my sleep, I distinctively remembered feeling happy. I must have had a good dream.

But as the realm of dreams ebbed away and the realities of life slowly seeping in, troubles and worries flooded away the happiness I felt.

Perhaps dreams are like sanctuaries, they shield you from the heat of realities when you are feeling down.


On a side note: snow has come to my blog, only if you are using IE, that is.