Tuesday, July 05, 2011

for posterity

I could not imagine visiting this blog again after so many months of neglect. But hey, times have changed and so many things have had happened since I last blogged. In fact, somuch time has transpired that I don't think people blog nowadays. They Facebook.

In these times where Facebook reigns, I find myself seeking solace in my long forgetten blog, far away from friends who had probably forgotten the existence of this blog.

You know, I felt different every since I came back from Nepal. I felt different, a kind of sadness and longing for the mountains once again. In fact, I think I might have left a piece of me back at Nepal. The Himalayans is a magical place, one that no words can do justice to the experience gained through the sights and sounds of the place. It is as if I have found my santuary in life. There are times I found myself thinking of going back there again. I dream of the past, and long for it in the future. Yet, I'm not sure why this is happening. Someone mentioned that I am suffering from post holiday blues....maybe...maybe....but I am not sure if a holiday elsewhere will cure this depression

The worst was, I had an inkling to climb mt Everest.

Yet, in this whirlwind of emotions, I felt liberated and empowered to believe I can do the things I want to do, as long as I set my heart to it. And in these trying times' I hope I succeed. Few, if not none around me will understand what I felt the day I reached the summit of kalar pattar. That was the pinnicle of this entire trek. The struggle, the physical and mental exhaution cumulates to this one trek to 5,500m. It was to me, a moment in life, that I felt that I could conquer the world. that despite everything thrown at me, I can and did overcome these difficulties and reached for the top. The feeling of giving up was strong, but the act of overcoming these thoughts and reaching the top was utterly, breathtakingly beautiful, and emotionally overwhelming. It made all the pain, the exhaustion and anguish worth it. It was such a magical feelingbtyat I didn't mention much about this to anyone, for fear of diluting the wonderness of it. this experience changed the way I approach my life, post-nepal as well.

It allowed me to think that not all problems are as bad as you might think, but that all problems can be resolved if you said your heart to it. You just need to bear through the tough parts and it will all be fine. You might thunk that this is all familiar cliche motivational phrases. True, they are,but the difference is, I actually believed in them, because I have my footprints in snow on top of kalar pattar as evidence that all problems are summountable.

I hope that when I return one day to read this entry, my current problems have been resolved and that I can stand proud of having to conquer yet another problem in this problematic human life.

Ps- pardon the tardiness though.

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