For the past few weeks, there was a raging debate on whether we should accomodate for a third person in our lives... After deliberation, and countless reasoning for and against, both within and out of the personal circle, i believe that I have arrived at a personal decision.
Discussions with most people always narrow down to a few points, all which can be classified into for and against having a little one.
FOR
• someone to have around when you are old
• someone to inject excitment and love into an other wise stagnant environment
• the love for kids ( unquantifiable)
• the somewhat hard-to-describe feeling of happiness when you have kids of your own (unquantifiable)
AGAINST
• freedom trade-off
• finance trade-off
• the permanent responsibilty till 18
• child-centric lifestyle
• the need for at least 2 children
• no tangible benefits
• bringing a child to suffer in this world
I've come to realize that if you were to analyse it scientifically, there can really be no tangible rewards gained from having kids.
But somehow, using material reasons to counter against a topic as profound as life itself seems a tad shallow. How do you put a value to the experience of carrying your first child? Or feel the touch of your child's hand when they grab your hands for the first time? How do you put value to hearing your child call you "papa" or "mama" for the first time? How do you place value to the experience of them hugging you or giving you a kiss? How do you?
How do you measure the experience of seeing them grow up and contribute to society? How do you measure the experience of becoming a grandparent, teaching and sharing your life stories to your future grandchild?
Do you even dare forsake the chance of having the experience of a life time, just because you are too scared, too lazy or too busy to experience what life has to offer?
Why do we have to deny such an experience, simply because we want to cling on to a life full of self-deluded enjoyment?
I believe having a kid is immensly taxing, immensly difficult yet also immensly rewarding, if you bring up the kid well.
I cannot think of a greater satisfaction in life than to successfully nurture your child, so that they can grow up and be of use to society.
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“To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk revealing your true self.
To place you ideas, your dreams, before a crowd
Is to risk rejection.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk disappointment.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard
In life is to risk nothing.
Those who risk nothing, do nothing, have nothing,
And become nothing.
They may avoid present suffering and sorrow, but they
Will not learn, feel, change, grow, love, or live.
Chained by their fear, they are slaves who have forfeited
Their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.
The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
And the realist adjusts the sails.”
—William Arthur Ward
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